Moments of Untapped Babysitting

I have a new role.

"Your new role is to manage a project from beginning to end."

Ok. Now we pretty much do this anyway but there used to be another person running the show internally. We worked together to manage both the whiny client and the coddled creative team. Sometimes you and your creative babysitter are besties. You make nice nice when you can, piss each other off when necessary and generally just keep the bullshit moving. And more often than not you worked around them, making deals with creative & studio and paying zero attention to the schedules lovingly created. They hate that. Like REALLY hate that. But the bottom line always ends up with keeping the bullshit moving.

I just heard that my internal creative babysitter used to make TO-DO lists for some of her creatives. REALLY?! Are you not a grown person who can handle their responsibilities? Christ almighty I may as well have kids - I see the ass-wiping question coming any day now.

There's nothing I love more than doing the job of two people. Except when it's the job of 3 people. Because why not? Who doesn't want to do 3X the amount of work and then NOT GET PAID FOR IT. My sup suffers from a pretty awful condition that has her laid up right now. Laid up to the tune of 4-6 weeks. It's scary shit. And as much as I wish I had some backup, she needs to rest and heal. I know that. My font boss knows that. Everyone knows that.

However ...

Does this prevent my sup from calling me and BOOKING THEIR PTO?! Why no. No it doesn't. Because when you are on medical leave why not book some more time off through your up-to-their-eyeballs-in-work minion? And no, it's not for surgery or some really important medical procedure. It's for a ticket - to Seattle. Because sup only had 2 days left to book the free ticket and couldn't I just open the calendar and put the time in? The rest will be worked out later.

Internet, I almost lost it. Thank God we spoke through chat rather than over the phone. Hand to God I would have hung up on her and promptly thrown myself out a window.

What was my original rant?

Ah, yes. My new role. My new role is now ICB (Internal Creative Babysitter) and MWC (Manages Whiny Client). Added to that whatever my sup was working on before her brain exploded (theatrical drama people - her head DID NOT explode). In addition to a new role for which I am in no way being compensated, there's also new software! It will replace emails! Angels sing whenever you open it! The Creative team will be responsible for checking it themselves! Insert record screech here....

Wednesday I spend 45 minutes sending out revisions to an ad through the ANGELS SINGING system.

Thursday morning- ping email from creative: What was I supposed to do to that headline?

Me: It's in the revisions I sent yesterday.

Creative: I didn't see any revisions

Me: I sent you an alert through the ANGLES SINGING software. Did you get it?

Creative: I have no idea.

ICB activated.

Tidbits of Untapped Bravery

Can someone please explain to me why changing printer toner is difficult? Further, adding paper to the EMPTY printer drawers ranks amongst one of the most difficult jobs EVER. A paper jam? CALL THE SECRET SERVICE.

My font boss called one of his underlings ACROSS THE AGENCY and asked him to print the agenda and then bring it to him. After I called him out he explained that the printer "is of the devil"

Really? You think Satan would bring us something that scans & emails in both color and b&w?

Interesting. (May I point out that this is someone entirely different from the person in my previous post. It's an epidemic)

So yesterday I was in our little cube that holds both the mamma-jamma copier/printer and the simple black & white LaserJet when I noticed that the b&w was running low. I opened the cabinet and pulled down the box of toner. And from behind me I hear,

"Oh you're going to try and change the printer toner? Girl you are BRAVE."

Is the printer going to attempt to block my attempt of changing it's toner with a battle cry and flying spears? Are there teeny snipers perched on the top most cabinet ready to fill me with teeny little bullets should I dare improve upon their master's printing ability?

Because if there is, our office service people don't get paid enough.

It's a printer. There are directions. When you READ them, you receive the SECRET KNOWLEDGE OF TONER.